Trusting the Process as a group facilitator
Last week I published in social media about working with clients, about how important it is to remain open to the inherent intelligence in my client’s system, physiological and energetic, without being seduced by the temptation to try to “fix” something. The interplay between doing and being interests me here.
In womb surround retreats the same principle applies. Working with a group, and with someone taking their turn during a retreat, there is always the intelligence of the field at play. Each person in their turn naturally invokes the energetic field of their experience. In addition, the group has its own collective field. The dynamics of this field are important for those of us studying healing in the context of a “surround”. My job as facilitator is to sit in this field, to open to it, to get to know it and trust the dynamics that show up here. *Up until here - create carousel slides
How? What does it feel like? It often feels like not-knowing, …. even a kind of emptiness. In front of a group especially, this can be scary. This likely produces contraction inside, or a speeding up, a narrowing of vision perhaps.
So, how to navigate through this experience? First, I had to learn to look for it.
I was introduced to the value of looking for emptiness, the open space at any time whether with myself or working with others, by Robert K Hall. Robert was a master, a grandmaster at this art. Originally trained by Fritz Perls himself to facilitate Gestalt Therapy work, and a deep meditator, he was a co-founder of the Lomi School in the 1970’s and the Lomi Psychotherapy Clinic in Santa Rosa, CA. I was fortunate to be a student in the Lomi School one of the last years Robert taught in 1993-94.
Sitting in emptiness, acknowledging the open groundless space all around us moment by moment, is sitting with truth. This, fundamentally, is how we can be most present with our clients. Isn’t it true that all things manifest out of non-being into being, and then return to the state of non-being again? Breath, hunger, or really any state at all. Change is the norm. Pretty scary? Yes, it can be. Ultimately we aren’t in control.
So if this is true for you, you could be feeling something arise in response to reading these words? There’s something important then to turn toward and look at, to face into. To feel into, to listen to the actual bare bodily sensations of what feels scary. Take the time and space needed to do this. Then ask with a gentle curiosity, “what state of being is most helpful for me in being with these scary sensations?” And consider getting support for doing this if needed. A trusted friend who can listen well, a mentor or a therapist.
In this work facilitating groups, I’m talking about a process similar to how a parent needs to be with children. Children need parents to be present, spacious and allowing the inherent intelligence awakening in them at each developmental step along the way, while at the same time providing balancing, supporting structure, guidance, containment, and safety for them. Whether it’s “no you can’t run out there where cars are driving” to “no, the day is over, it’s time for sleep”.
In a womb surround retreat the specific concerns are different of course. No one is at risk of being hit by a car. Yet young states and interactions show up, are actually invited in a contained way that allows them to be felt and worked with, following practices used for healing prenatal and birth trauma.
A critical foundational practice is this willingness to trust the process of inherent health at work through the aliveness of the group field. This practice is fascinating and I’m interested in conversations with others who work in this way.
Questions? Observations?
